A whole new kind of bad.

I'm still too close to it to actually admit the things ( and amount) I used to eat. I can say that it wasn't ever about being hungry, much more about punishing myself.I look back now at the way I fed my misery and am astounded at just what I did to myself. I'm not sure I ever felt that I was eating 'bad' food. I didn't ever feel guilt but I loathed myself.
Now, I think differently, I think much more about what good the food I eat can do me. I also find myself realising when I have eaten something that feels 'bad'and that old feeling of being useless creeps back in, I make myself think about what I have eaten.....it is amazing to me that, like today, on a day when it feels as if everything has gone to pot and I have blown it, when I look at what I have eaten...well. look. Today has been a day that feels like gorging.

Slimfast
Lunch was at the park with Eli, cheese and salad sandwich, snack pack of potato chips.
Dinner, at a beautiful village pub with H and NO CHILDREN


was rack of lamb, new potatoes and a mix of the most delicious fresh vegetables, swede, leeks, carrots...heaven.
I mean look at that, apart from the chips ( 184 cals worth) there is nothing 'bad' there, cheese is a rare treat and it was delicious. Cheese, a treat! I am a new me.
I feel so full I can hardly move. How did I used to eat what I used to?
I love this new life!!