Jam on it!

I had such a craving for sweet this morning...had 2 slices of bread and jam, as far as sins go that has to be a pathtic one, albeit delicious. I hope that I keep this great feeling of disinterest in chocolate, sometimes I think I want some and then when I really make myself think about it.....don't want it at all. Hooray!
Slimfast
Ryvita and marmite ( must eat some different lunches soon or I'll get bore, for now I love this lunch!!)
Spaghetti bolognese and low fat garlic bread.

I am enjoying shopping for food lately too, I feel very healthy and superior when I look in other trollies and see such prepackaged gunk there. Ha.....me, the look down the nose shopper. Who'd have thought it.
I also find myself glancing at hugely overweight people stocking up on cookies and crisps and want to tell them how good it feels to eat good food and not punish yourself with all the stuff that makes you feel so miserable.
I think of the years and years I have thrashed my poor body with such poor choices and just wish I had been able to feel like this sooner. I also wish I could package the desire and determination to change.....It'd make a whole world of difference to so many people.
Oh, another thought, as I try on new clothes and they fit, when I put on old clothes and they are too big...I am struck by the awesome realisation that this is forever, if that is what I choose. I need never again wear those huge clothes, the rain jacket that I bought and never wore because it was ridiculously too small, well it fits, it will always fit and become too big...if I choose it. I am in charge of my body and what happens to it, what I put in it, how often I exercise it. That is an enormous thing for someone who has been so out of control for so many years. 21 years. Every day a new inkling of how great this new life can be..if I choose.
I don't feel like a freak anymore. I am still big, still overweight but I don't feel so outcast or ashamed. Being fat is a miserable way to be, for me it was like a prison. I love seeing what the world is going to be like for me when this weight is gone. It can't be soon enough for me.